Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
Randomize
