dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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