Joe is yelling at the trees again.
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
