well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
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