Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
its not stalking. its research.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Randomize
