Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Randomize
