2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
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