I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
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