We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
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