belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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