I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
Randomize
