Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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