I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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