her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
He passed out mid-signature
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
Randomize
