no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
this beer tastes like vomit already
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Randomize
