Walk of Shame. In a state park.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
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