You work out of a Hotel?
My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Randomize
