No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
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