well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Randomize
