i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Randomize