I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
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