Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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