I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize