Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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