I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
Randomize
