17 year olds will be the death of me.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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