I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
