Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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