the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Randomize
