there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
