I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize