Rock
Scissors
Fuck
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Randomize
