my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
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