I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
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