I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
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