At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
The cops high fived after they tackled you
Randomize
