She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
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