I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
Randomize
