ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
