fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
Fuck me I smell like cheese
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