I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
Randomize
