I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
Welp...herpes.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Randomize
