A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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