I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Randomize
