omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
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