bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
