she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
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