Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
