When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
Do you remember whose house we're in?
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Randomize
