Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
