I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
Randomize