Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
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