If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
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