Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Randomize
