It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
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