I showed him my bush... on skype.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
Randomize
