Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
Randomize
