i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
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