yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Randomize
